Disagreements develop from time to time in relationships. Domestic violence is not a disagreement. It is a whole pattern of behaviors used by one partner to establish and maintain power and control over the other. These behaviors can become more frequent and intense over time. The abusive person is responsible for these behaviors. That person is the only one who can change them. Don’t wait until you and the ones you love get hurt. You Are Not Alone. Consider getting some help. Talk with friends about your situation.